Real Magic

What I remember saying the most during my labor, over and over, was “Leila.” But coming from my tongue, slurred and faraway, it sounded like “Lil-a,” because I was barely pronouncing the vowel at the beginning. As I called out again and again, checking that she was there, seeking reassurance, asking a question without saying the words, she always answered, “Yes.” But she was telling me of more than her presence, she was saying, “You can do this! Keep going. You are strong. You have this.” 

During the early morning hours, there were times when my mind would wonder how much longer. There was a moment when I opened my eyes and looked at Leila sitting close by my side, leaning on the tub with her arms crossed. “Leila?” I looked at her and couldn’t form words for what I wanted to say, but she met my eyes and gazed back until I knew she understood. Her eyes met mine and held and said, “I understand. I know how hard this is, but you are the only one that can do it. You are strong, so strong. I can’t do this for you and I can’t make it stop but I’m here and I’m not leaving.” That is Leila's heart. She is comforting, kind, unflinching; she is a loyal friend who dreams with you of the birthing experience that she will fiercely fight with you to have. I would not have had the same experience giving birth without Leila. During my pregnancy, she taught me so many things- the stages of childbirth, how to look at things from an evidence based viewpoint and use that information to make decisions. But what I will remember is our first prenatal visit when she brought over a tub of warm water and gave me a foot massage. Leila has a true servants heart combined with the inspiration and intensity of a leader warrior. The impact of her service to us will always be, as our baby grows up and we remember how she came into this world quietly, beautifully, with Leila there by our side.